Summer practice

Ruby in the evening light

Last week was odd. We celebrated Ruby and Nate’s birthdays on the 18th. There was a lot of anticipation before the parties which happened to coincide with the end of Nate’s school year. Although we were excited to celebrate with loved ones, the prep for the joint birthday party was overwhelming due to the timing. Nate was focused on his end-of-term grading while I managed Ruby and did what I could around the house. I was incredibly scattered and stressed out. In the end, everything worked out and we had a blast, but it was very exhausting.

Since then I’ve been just trying to catch up with life. I’ve switched gears to full-time working mom since Nate can be at home with Ruby. It’s weird.

I thought I would find peace in the fact that we made it to this milestone, but instead I came home depressed most of last week. It does nothing for me nor my family to see me so sad. These are the moments I want to cherish. Long days with my one year old. Summer nights with my husband. Laziness with my cats.

This is partly due to exhaustion, but I think I have had high expectations for what want to accomplish this summer. I don’t know where to start on all these grand plans I have dreamt about.

One of my favorite podcasters, Jess Lively, often quotes the yoga guru Shri K. Pattabhi Jois who famously said “practice and all is coming.” For me this idea of practice means doing those daily things that give me the best chance of success.

I’ve decided to incorporate this mantra into my summer narrative. Just do your thing everyday and see what grows. Don’t stick to a set plan. Don’t hurry the process. Just be receptive for opportunities that may present themselves.

Thinking through this I can honestly say I feel and do better when I have or practice the following daily.

1) Sleep
2) Exercise
3) Hydrate
4) Positive Attitude
5) Meditate

I am not giving myself any sort of routine to accomplish these daily list. It’s too easy for me to get stuck perfecting the routine instead of focusing on the outcome.

Since I made this decision, I have felt more at peace. In fact that very night I woke up with a voice from my dream saying “stay the course and all will be good.” It was very comforting to feel the force of those words in my mind.

I’ve began to notice more and find the goodness in my every day as I have let go of the worry.

  • I found a small feather on my path to the office
  • For the first time ever, I decided to drive past my favorite lunch place and found a park with a pond a block away.
  • I saw a hawk sitting on the brick wall on the side of the freeway.
  • The power went out on our street one evening. Instead of worrying about it, Nate and I spent time with our neighbors on our driveway looking at the stars.

This summer is going to be about living not a task list. My grand plans now are to work on my daily practices, enjoy the moments and just have some-honest-to-goodness fun.

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